Good Days and Bad Days

Somedays, it's hard to determine if you are having a good day or a bad day because when you are going through pain, fatigue, etc. Sometimes, it's the same day in day out.

Hepatitis C sucks

Even to this day, if I wake up and focus on my hurting legs, my weak muscles not able to stand up quickly, or the spaced out feeling I have, more than likely, my day will continue that way. Let’s just say this... Having hep C and liver disease SUCKS. There is nothing glamorous or beautiful about it. And to live day to day with the same feelings of despair can lead to depression. I know I struggle to this day with trying my best to be positive in this negative body full of agony.

Missing out on my life

Several years ago, I had an "ahhh ha!" moment.  Sitting in my bedroom having my little pity party for one (me, myself and I) I overheard my kids giggling in the living room. At what I had no idea but the sound of their laughter all the sudden caused me to let out a snicker laugh.  It was at that point I realized how much of life around me was passing me by and I was not participating in it because I was focusing on the negative in my own life.

Looking for gratitude

I began writing down in a journal each morning something I was grateful for.  That then lead to something I was looking forward to: Yes, I struggled for several weeks trying to come up with new things; I tried not to write the same thing over again. My first day grateful page read this: “I am grateful for my Starbucks coffee”.  As silly as that sounds, that was all I could come up with. And that is perfectly okay.

It is hard to retrain your mind to focus on the positive in life rather than the negative, especially when your body is screaming at you that it's hurting.  I challenge you to also come up with a grateful, happy space journal or strips of paper to put into a jar.  After a month, sit down and read a few things you wrote down. You will start to see your mindset turn to a more happy, positive outlook.

Tips for getting through

I am not saying your life will change overnight or it will take away all the pain and negative happening, but it will certainly ease the hard times and make them shorter.  Learning to live in a happier outlook has really helped me face tough times with my health. Going through chemo, I took my journal and was happy to be alive. I was grateful for my kids who sat with me for hours during infusion days.   Life is going to be what we make it out to be.  I can bet no one will enjoy being miserable, grumpy, sour, unhappy for the rest of their life.  We don’t have a lot we can control within our bodies fighting hep C, but we can control our mental outlook. Stay focused and fill your world with happy thoughts. Your body will thank you and your smile will show through the pain.

Not without a FIGHT! ~HCV~ ©