Needing a Caregiver Can Make You Feel Helpless

Coming out of the hospital this past week after a battle with pancreatitis, I reflected on my seven day stint in the hospital.

The pain made me miserable

The pain was the worst pain out there, and trust me, and I have had them all. No food and no water were allowed.

I could have nothing to eat or drink until the bloodwork showed the lipase levels were normal again.

My days were in two-hour increments as the pain meds were only lasting about that. I would do my best to stay on top of the pain. However, nothing goes as planned.

The pain came earlier or not on that 2-hour schedule. Curled up in pain, I would ring for my nurse, and I am sure they were so sick of hearing my room buzzer buzz.

I couldn't help it. I was beyond myself in pain.

My husband was so supportive

My husband, Frank, was my rock throughout this. Between juggling his job, our dogs, and me, he was at his limit too, I am sure.

It was difficult for him to be there, seeing me struggle in pain. He was not able to comfort, soothe or remove any of my pain.

I could see in his eyes the hurt that he felt. He mainly chased nurses down, fixed my bedsheets, and tucked me in once the meds took hold.

Then he did it all over again in the morning for me. I realized that as much pain we are in, as a caregiver, our loved ones also carry a different kind of pain.

This is a pain for which no medicine can cure. It is a heartfelt one. Our loved ones are helpless in being able to take away our pain.

Being a person with high pain tolerance, my husband realized just how bad it was for me. He would continually ask me what he could do for me and all that I could do was cry.

I cried because of the pain, for one, and the other because it is never a patient's choice to leave our family feeling helpless.

We leaned on each other

As the days went by and my pain subsided, I reached out for him and told him I was sorry for all of this. It hurt me to see him feel so helpless.

We just hugged and, at that moment, we both knew that anytime anyone is sick or fighting a disease like hep c, it is a family ordeal. We all feel it. We all go through it.

At the end of the day, be sure to thank those who care for you. Their job is tough, and most always helpless.

Thank them for the support and just being there. Thank them for being your voice in the hospital when nurses needed to be called for.

I am so grateful for my husband and my two kids. Together we all have much more to appreciate in life. And knowing that we have each other is all that we need.