My Biggest Regrets With Hepatitis C

We all have things we wish had never happened. Looking back at over my life, I feel a fist punch in my gut when certain memories pop up.

Some things were not my fault. Nobody has power over every situation. My biggest regrets with hep C are things that I never thought would happen to me.

My biggest regret

When I was a little kid, life was getting up every day and doing things most children do. I went to school. I knew every street in my neighborhood and who lived there. When I was bored, finding a friend to play with was easy.

I ate at other kids' houses. They were like family. My friends came to my house too and spent the night a lot.

Even though I still lived in the neighborhood, my friend group expanded in high school. There were a lot of smaller schools that poured into a bigger city school. My childhood friends drifted away, and new friends took their place.

After a semester at university, I started working in a hospital. I was so proud to be a certified nurse assistant and enrolled in nursing school. Soon, I had an even bigger set of friends.

After getting married and having my daughter, life got really busy. I had nagging health problems but never knew exactly why. The doctors couldn’t pin it down. Not pressing for more answers is one of my biggest regrets with hep C.

I was using caffeine to stay awake and get things done. Sometimes, my heart would race, but I felt very tired. I pushed even harder.

I smoked cigarettes to keep my energy up. Many days, drinking soda and smoking were my body’s fuel.

I had never lived in another body, so I didn’t know what health felt like. Another of my biggest regrets is not taking better care of my body.

Pushing myself

I actually went to a medical school library searching for answers. I wrote many pages of notes. Another one of my biggest regrets is that there was not even a name for hep C. It was called Non-A or B.

I envied people who had regular, healthy bodies. I was infertile and battled fatigue. My doctors thought I was a hypochondriac. I was always asking for blood work or complaining about fatigue.

When bruises appeared on my body, I just ignored them and pushed myself to keep going. Soon, my ability to sleep or stay alert grew worse.

It took me longer to do just about everything. I ate as healthy as possible, but in the end, my biggest regret is that I was not diagnosed sooner.

My liver totally failed before I could be treated. I was finally cured, but I got liver cancer because of hep C

Today, I am thankful for a liver transplant. I’m finally living a healthy life. Thanks to medical science, I can spend the rest of my life getting over past regrets.

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