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Being Happy in The Midst of Chaos

I have been always the type person who was always smiling and cheerful. Back in 2005, when I got the diagnosis of hep C shortly after my mom was diagnosed, a cheerful, smiling Kim was not what I was feeling that day. Life turned to chaos for me.

Reacting to my diagnosis

In fact, I found myself screaming to myself in my car that day on the way home. Words I do not normally use were flowing from my vocabulary. I was MAD. I was so upset, tears streaming down my face. “Why me?”, is all I kept yelling out. Pulling over to the side of the road, I yelled at the top of my lungs, so much so that I actually startled myself. But after doing this, I felt more eased. The worry and fright were not gone and I immediately worried about the children (whom I had given birth to). “Oh my, I just gave them a death sentence. Why on earth did nobody know about this and warn me?”

Understanding my diagnosis

This was late 2005, when hep C was just coming out to topic. I had to search and search to find answers and the doctor I had then was not a supportive, knowledgeable doctor. I learned that day that being diagnosed with hepatitis C, I was now classified as “an infectious disease patient”… Just that angered me. I did not ask for this disease and I certainly did not know how to deal with it. The only person who I could lean on was my mom as she was the first one in my world diagnosed with same disease. We spent several days wrapping our minds around this disease. Feeling devastated as me, she was not eligible for the then only treatment to cure hep C (at 50/50 chances) because of her transplanted kidney. We shared tears and fears. My mom did all she could to keep my focus clear and positive.  I look back now and see that she put that front up for me so I would not fall into the fear of death that she was facing.

Coping… together

We both did lots of praying and searching for anything about hep C. We started journaling and I would find little post notes my mom had written down that had positive scriptures or quotes around the house. Her journey was cut short May 5, 2006. Up until that day that she passed on, she was positive and not one day ever felt sorry for herself. Today, when I begin to feel that feeling deep-down of being sorry for myself, I think of her. I lean on the memories she gave me to stay positive and do this “not without a fight”.

If you are recently diagnosed, I am here to say: This is no longer a death sentence as it once was. There are great, huge advances in treatments and now curing at 98%, not only 50/50 as before.

Get your game on now and fight. Place people in your life who you know will keep you focused and positive.  This is a win-win for us now in the hep C community. Keep moving forward – Get TREATED, Get CURED!

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.