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I’m Dying

They told me I had hep-C in 2008. Now 10 years later I’m really sick. High blood pressure, kidney disease, adrenal glands have masses on them, and heart disease. It’s no ones fault but my own. I was a drug addict for years, and now I’m dying. The meds I take make me terribly sick and I hurt all over. I’m not afraid of death, and if I’m going to die I hope it’s soon. I’m ready to throw in the towel.

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Comments

  • Tash
    3 months ago

    This made me sad to read because it reminded me of me, when I was diagnosed with hep c in 2014. Even though I didn’t have it for very long I seemed to have symptoms most people don’t experience until years, sometimes even decades for some people, of having hep c. I remembered telling a select trusted few the same thing, that I wasn’t afraid of death either (especially after my cousin was killed in a car accident in 2008) & I wished death would come sooner than later if that was how I was going to feel both mentally & physically for the remainder of my life. I couldn’t get out of bed for days sometimes, I was always weak, my liver was severely inflamed to the point I would see it actually “twitching” which would freak me out so bad I would cry my eyes out from both the unbearable pain as well as the pure terror of seeing something that basically looked unnatural to me. I had doors slammed in my face in every direction I turned looking for help getting cured, meanwhile people I thought were friends or cared about me were slamming the door on me because they thought that just by knowing me they would catch my “deadly disease” therefore they stopped talking to me even still to this day even after I was cured cause they would say that they don’t believe just cause I’m cured that I can’t still pass my “disease” around. I just want you to know that even though we don’t know each other that I still understand what you’re going through, maybe some things are different experiences or situations, but in the end I still understand what its like to just want the pain to stop & the suffering to end. I took that pain, devastation, & everything else I was feeling & turned it into determination & motivation to FIGHT for my life, to fight to get a cure, end my pain or stop it from getting worse, & refuse to be told “no” to my mission of that. Instead of throwing in the towel, maybe try doing the same thing? I know it’s easier said than done, but I looked at it like if I was going to die eventually then I was going to die fighting my heart out. I got cured in 2015 because of my determination to fight for my life back. I hope for the best for you! Please don’t give up, I know it’s hard, I’ve been through it personally myself too, but you never know how strong you truly are until you have no choice. Keep your head up! xo

  • Anneorourke
    6 months ago

    Dont throw in the towel my son is battling this also.

  • ksemons
    6 months ago

    I was diagnosed 20 yrs ago with hep-c. Never did any treatment (which was an option) at the time I was a single parent with 2 small kids. Knowing the side effects of interferon I opted to wait as I had no signs or physical symptoms. 1999 I remarried and when I was able to concentrate on my hep-c. Shortly after I married, my husband was diagnosed with cancer which ment putting my treatment on hold once again so I could take care of my husband. Waiting all those years took a toll on my liver. Now I have cirrhosis, I’ve known for about 17-20 yrs. I’m not a drinker. I am a recovering drug attict. I have been clean for 26 yrs now. I eat good clean food. No processed food,no processed sugar, no dairy and no fried food.
    I’m now having pain in my lower back (a couple months now). Some days are worst then others and sometimes it puts me on my back for 2-3 days. I believe it may be my kidneys.
    Is this common with last stage liver disease? Anyone else experience this?

  • Lauren Tucker moderator
    6 months ago

    ksemons, thanks for reaching out. You sure have been through a lot. Sounds like you have taken a great path with your diet which is wonderful.
    I cannot provide medical advice via the internet (for your safety) However, we have some articles on Cirrhosis that I thought would be helpful:
    https://hepatitisc.net/answers/ask-the-expert-i-have-cirrhosis-what-should-i-expect/
    https://hepatitisc.net/living/cirrhosis-is-not-the-end/

    Additionally, you may want to reach out to Help 4 Hep- http://www.help4hep.org they may be able to help you navigate some of the symptoms you are experiencing.

    Keep us posted on your health.
    Thinking of you.
    Lauren (HepatitisC.net Team)

  • Cherrimook
    6 months ago

    Please don’t throw in the towel I have severe pain and now using a walker depending on others I’m 36 different meds I’m a female 58 years old contracted hep c 26 from drugs I had a fatty liver when I started treatment and I have advanced cirrhosis and autoimmune disease is there anyone you can see to maybe start a treatment or diagnose you with something other than the Pepsi this causing you your pain?

  • Kelly McNamara moderator
    1 year ago

    Hi @bluesman66,

    We commend you for sharing so bravely! We’re so sorry to hear about your distress and apologize you’re hurting so badly. I can’t imagine everything you’re going through but please just know there’s always someone who’s willing to listen and to hear you. If you ever feel like you need help, don’t hesitate to contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or online at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or any local options such as medical professionals, counselors, or support groups.

    Also, if you ever want to talk to anyone, Help-4-Hep is a great resource. You can reach them online http://www.help4hep.org or by phone (877‑435‑7443).

    We’re all thinking of you.

    Warmly,

    Kelly, HepatitisC.net Team Member

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