My Three Tiers of Hep C
I have found to be true in my fight with hepatitis C, three very important tiers in my journey: Spiritual, Physical and Emotional. After being out in the community for many years, talking with others about hep C, and seeing their personal struggles, in addition to my own some soul searching along my journey to find a way to share with a new person beginning their journey.
The Emotional Journey
After being diagnosed with hep C in 2005, I began a spiral down effect and many years now after digging into research and learning from my own mentors such as Karen and Daryl did I put this together. Again this is my personal journey and beliefs. It may not be something you believe in, and I respect that. If my story can help anyone in a positive way and help them beat the “dragon” positively I will do all I can. This disease is negative enough and I steer far away from negative energy and negative all together to live my happiest life now.
Depression set in hard with me after my mom passed away and watching my own fate right before my eyes. I was negative, angry, and honestly not a good person to be around. This was totally out of character for me as I have always been the upbeat ‘Positive Peg’, as they used to call me. I turned into the picture perfect ‘Negative Nancy’ type. (no personal pun intended) It has been so long since the first days that I can no longer recall how long I remained in this sector of life. It was not long however that my body began getting weak and sicker because I was not sleeping, eating right and was so angry at God. I created this huge pity party that as I look back now, it was only me who was in attendance there.
The Physical Impact
This was now affecting my physical being. My body was losing weight, black circle below my eyes, and my skin look awful…aged before my eyes. I was now, without realizing it, making myself “look” even sicker than I was. (If there is such a thing at stage 4). No one sees hep C. There are often no outer signs, but I was creating concern. After several bouts of doctor visits and being told I need to eat better for my liver did I start feeling better. It was during this time I quit blaming God for my situation.
Finding the Spiritual Side
This brings me to the spiritual part of my life. Not until I settled my thoughts and negative outbursts to God did I find a peace come over me. To this day, I truly believe it was my mom’s way of saying “Oh Kim, it is not God’s fault”. I began praying for insight and that is when I found my hands on books about hepatitis C. Ironically written by my very own liver specialist, Dr. Gregory Everson of The University of Colorado Hospital. It was if God was sending an answer to my prayers for insight. I was in God’s hands, I was in the plan for my life. I was being set up to do what I do now… advocate for those fighting hepatitis C.
I became more positive in my fight. It was powerful to see myself transform in a matter of weeks. It was then that my pyramid of life was once again in balance. I understand the fear and uncertainty, but I am here to say and be that person to tell you that you need to be helped back to your feet. We all need someone who believes in us, who understands us, and who can pick us up, dust off our pants and give that slight push into the positive fight for your life.
I did not get here overnight. It will take time. But, the key and I stress this all the time, KNOWLEDGE is POWER in the fight against this disease.
Not with out a fight! ~ HCV~ (c)