The Dark Forest of Hep C Treatment
When you have the hepatitis C virus it can feel like you're in a dark scary forest. The trees are so thick that you can barely see in front of you. Every sound is magnified and your nerves are on edge, making you jump at the smallest noise of a twig cracking. You wonder if you will ever see daylight again. Crawling up in a quiet place seems like a good idea, but you don't know what creepy slimy things are out there. Running away and getting out is the only way, but what if monsters chase you?
Escaping the Dark Forest of Hepatitis C Treatment
Darkness - The not knowing can make you feel blindfolded. You wonder if the treatment will work for you or not. No matter how much reading and research you do, and no matter what your doctor or other experts say, it is still a risk. You just cannot know for sure how your body will react.
Sounds - Even the doctor's voice can sound spooky when it is your life they are talking about. Sure, some of them try and make it sound good, but with your current level of fatigue and pain, even a whisper in the dark can send you into mental anguish. I learned to lay in still silence. I began to wear ear plugs at night and during a nap. The slightest noise could make me jump out of my skin!
Creatures - Sometimes a little thing will worry you the worst. I remember the thought of hair loss freezing me into a motionless state. Here I was with bleeding varices and I was freaking out over the thought of wearing a wig. I ended up looking like a scary creature, especially when I was anemic. It was like Gollum in The Lord of the Rings was constantly whispering crazy things in my ear. He was pretty harmless, but his ideas were dark and frightening.
Monsters - I'll admit that not everything that chases us is whispering negative ideas. Some of them are chasing us and hitting us hard! Anemia and Ribavirin rage are giants that are out to put us down. Hepatic encephalopathy has been called a monster because of the way it uses food to poison us instead of providing nutrition. Some of the medications feel like monsters. We may not know whether to make a run for it or hunker down and hide.
When you are in the dark forest of hepatitis C treatment, it is not easy to see sunlight. We feel so tired and that brings out a lot of bad feelings. If every little sound starts to make you feel nervous, try finding a safe place to curl up and hide. (I admit to still wearing those spongy ear plugs even though I have been free from the virus for years). If you feel afraid, remember you are not alone. There are many of us making a run for the light, and others who are hiding out and waiting for a safe time to treat.
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