Taken for Granted
Did you ever feel like you took something or someone for granted? Good health, a friend, a spouse, or any other thing we just expected would always be there without any consideration that an end would come, or short of an end, in a diminished quality or capacity. ‘They just don’t make things like they used to’ is something many of us grew up hearing from our parents and many even say it now. Is it true? Well, when it comes to products, it is certainly true for some things, but that is not what I wanted to dig into here. Things change.
Taking Relationships for Granted
The phrase about being taken for granted usually refers to our relationship with others, like I mentioned above. It can be a source of great discontent and feelings of being undervalued. Assumptions about what others think or how they respond to our needs can undercut an otherwise healthy friendship, marriage or partnership, and context does matter. How it matters is individual, just like everything, but there is again some commonality.
Are those people you count on for care or support reliable and available, in a way that makes you feel cared for, or is there a gap, real or perceived? Living with a chronic illness like hep C can make us dependent on others for all kinds of things. If we are the kind of person who is used to being independent and have never thought we needed any help, and certainly would find it difficult to ask for help, it can be a challenge. Help takes many forms as we all know. It can be as simple as a ride to a medical appointment or shopping for groceries. Help can be in the form of emotional support, love or romance, like we might expect from a loved one, family or friend.
Asking for Help Is Not Easy
In my own experience, it was never easy to ask for help for anything. That is not to say it was a good thing, right or wrong, of others in my life. Were those expectations realistic or fair is questionable and depends on one’s perspective, like most things. I have always supported the idea that we should ask for help when we need it. We are all familiar with the “cry for help” phrase, and it speaks to a specific mental health crisis, but many of us will not act out in a version of a “cry for help” will we. Most will not. The isolation sometimes caused by living with a chronic disease like hep C makes for some extra challenges aside from the physical impact. Resentment or feelings of loneliness, and being alone even if we are surrounded by others, can be devastating for us and those around us who care.
Expectations are difficult to manage for some of us, oh how I know, and it is not unique to expectations about others but can extend to include ourselves, medicines, doctors, or any other thing we can imagine. The reality is that our needs may not always be met on our timetable, and if anxiety is present this only makes things more intense. Please ask for help, I haven’t always, but quite often when did, people did help.