Skip to Accessibility Tools Skip to Content Skip to Footer


It is that time of year again, and my, my, how time flies when we are having fun! As another year closes, we look forward to a new year and generally, we do so with hope. Not only hope for us but for our friends, family, and the whole world.

New Year, New Goals

I am not going to revisit all the notable events, good or bad, from this last year. Others who engage in that sort of thing do this in a much better way than I can. The fact is I can hardly remember yesterday, never mind the last 12 months or 365 days give or take. Don’t get me wrong, I can remember some highlights and lowlights of this past year, but they are done and looking forward is a more positive activity. I believe most of you will agree.

Resolutions that people make at this time are usually reserved for things like quitting this or starting that, as in setting goals for the year ahead. Some, if not most, involve health-related things like to stop smoking or go on a diet, exercise more, etc. Regardless of the resolution, it is important for me to be realistic about what is reasonably achievable. I know that may be a cop-out to some of our most goal-oriented folks, but loading us up with too much can also set us up for a perceived failure and the resulting guilt- ouch!

Guilt has been a great motivator in the hands of a master, like my Mother, but self-guilt is a destructive thing in our own hands if it causes us to feel we have failed. It reminds me of when people are told or say themselves that they failed their hep C treatment. We don’t fail treatment; it fails us! This may seem a little nit-picky but words are powerful and how we define our experiences is part of how we are defined by others.

Failure is a Word Jam-Packed with Guilt

Losing is another guilt-filled word when used in a certain context. Some of us are very competitive and I get it when it comes to sport, but I have to say when we bring it into our daily life it can get very strange indeed.

Not reaching a goal is not the end of the world, normally. Putting too much pressure on ourselves can, in fact, be destructive, not only to our sense of worth but in physical ways as well. I know how this can go bad from my own personal experience with setting the bar so high I could never overcome it, at least in the time I gave myself at the start.
Being able to be flexible and ready for plan B or plan C.

The crux of what I am saying is that it is great to set goals and make resolutions and seek improvements or changes, but let’s do our best to have a frank discussion with ourselves about just how attainable they are, and understand that a 7 out of 10 is a heck of an effort even if we don’t make it to the perfect 10. Be nice to you, and I will try my best to take it easy on me too. That is my resolution.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.