Additional Health Issues Caused by Hepatitis C
Recently, I was undergoing more tests on some other health issues. This required an MRI and a biopsy. To date, I have had the following biopsies: liver, pancreas, kidney, bone marrow, and recently, my uterus. It seems like I can never just go to the doctor’s office without them finding something else. I know deep down it is not that bad, but I can't help but fear going only to possibly find more issues.
Hep C has given me nodules
Because of having hep C for over 40 years, it has created chaos in my body. It has left what doctors say are nodules (masses of tissue) attached to my liver, lung, pancreas, kidney and now uterus. I get anxious going into any doctors office now. I set off the blood pressure alarms and always get the lecture of my blood pressure. I assure them it is only "white coat syndrome".
Worrying about test results
I began to worry immediately when a normal, 6 month MRI scan detected more questionable things that warranted a biopsy. I found my outlook prior to this biopsy getting down. I am usually a very upbeat, "go get 'em" type gal, but this time, I couldn't sleep. My thoughts were filled with fear. After all the biopsies I have had, I have been lucky and blessed they all came back benign. I guess I feared my luck and odds were running out.
Looking for support
I tried to open up to the couple of people I trust with my health, but felt I was being denied my fear. With each word I spoke of being scared it was masked with “Oh Kim, you have made it through worst”. I was not seeking that type of conversation. It was not that I wanted pity, but just an understanding that I was sharing I am truly scared... almost as scared as being told I failed interferon treatment for my hep C. I just wanted to vent and shed a few stressful tears. Once I do, I always feel better and can get my thoughts turned back around but after trying to share my inner feelings and getting nowhere I felt unheard. Frustrated and alone.
I don’t expect anyone around me to understand my health issues, nor do I expect them to be my saving grace with words. I guess all I really wanted was a pair of ears to hear me out and just offer soothing comfort and allow me to work through my fears by talking them out.
What I'll do next time
I have to understand that being a strong-willed person and normally happy-go-lucky that the ones I confided in were lost as to what to do for me as they didn’t ever see this part of me before. I am sure that if they knew what I needed they would have been able to offer that to me. It will be on me in the future to maybe say, "I am not wanting you to fix anything. I am telling you that I just need you to listen".
Do you experience brain fog?