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Grief and Loss

Grief and Loss

This is a topic that makes us all nervous, and understandably so. Pondering the end of our own life and those whom we love is a very difficult time and not an easy subject to take on. But, I felt I should try because in my own life, and the lives of all of us, we have experienced loss and for some of us we have faced it down ourselves.

Loss of Loved Ones

I am no grief expert or counsellor, or a psychologist, and I never suppose to have the best insights or advice. The fact is that like most of you I have lost people close to me Inn my work in hep C, I have lost too many over the years to the end result of living with hep C for years and having advanced disease as a result. We have seen an increase in people losing their battle, and it has been very difficult for me but is much worse for those who are partners, spouses, friends and family.

Like you, I have experienced loss and felt grief in my life. My parents, my brother, a first girlfriend, dogs and friends I cherished, and many others have passed in my life. It has never gotten easier and I do not expect it will. Each loss is different, and how it affected me was as unique as each of them were.

Finding Help and Support

As I mentioned, I am no expert on end of life and cannot tell anyone how he or she should deal with loss other than to say that in my own experience it is a healing process. At the risk of sounding cliché, it does get easier over time. Not that we ever forget those who have passed, because like you I never will forget those I have lost. If you have faith as part of your life, you have something, which can help to guide you, and support you in your time of loss. Not all people have a faith to rely on and some of us will make constructs that can support us in similar ways, right or wrong. There is no rulebook or perfect guide, at least I would be suspicious if someone suggested there was a one-size fits all guide to how best to deal with grief.

Seek help if you need it, and sometimes we need help, it is sometimes the best thing we can do. Reaching out to others can be a part of healing and better than internalizing our feelings. Please don’t feel guilt; it is a destructive walk with nothing positive to gain. “If only I had…” never leads to a good place. Surviving loss and going on to thrive in your own life is the best outcome in an otherwise sad time. Another cliché is that time heals all, and there is no set time in my experience, and grief is a process that takes time. Give yourself that time to heal. You will feel better, and the weight of loss will lift.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The HepatitisC.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • Ironbutterfly
    2 years ago

    My husband was diagnosed with HEP C in 2001. I then got tested and was diagnosed as well. I took some of the first treatments, of Interferon and Ribavirin. My husband chose to do nothing. We both had different genotypes, his was harder to cure. I did treatments for 7 months until I could no longer do it. My husband had alot of health problems that kept escalating, and was sick alot. In 2012, he was diagnosed with Liver Cancer, He also had cirrhosis. He did state of the art treatments at OREGON HEALTH SCIENCE UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL IN PORTLAND OREGON, where they injected the chemo straight into his liver, including the beads. His body could no longer withstand treatments in Dec. 2013. He had so many regrets because he did not treat when I did. We suspect our infection was from tainted blood transfusions. In July 2014 he died, he was only 53, we had been married for 34 years. There are alot of days I wish it was me that died instead of him! It’s really hard. It’s been 2 1/2 years since he passed away and it is still a huge issue for me. I have deep depression and anxiety disorders that have consumed my whole being. Please all I can say if you get diagnosed do not put off treatment and just do it, you will save your life!!

  • Daryl Luster author
    2 years ago

    Ironbutterfly I am so sorry to hear of your loss. This is sadly something I see far more often than is known widely as people never die of hep c but because of it’s destruction. I hope the heavy grief you feel is in time diminished and only to help you heal, but never to diminish his memory or the years you had together. Those of us like you and me, who did successfully treat in time are the lucky ones and never think it should have been you who passed because imagine how hard it would have been for him and you would never want that. I feel your pain, I really do. Have you spoken to anyone about learning how you might deal with the terrible anxiety? I lived with it for decades myself and there is hope because there is always hope my friend. You are so right about people seeking out a cure and not waiting indefinitely, as we are seeing so many people who were told that they did not need to do anything. This is not something we can ignore. I am so happy you are cured, and like you I am one of the lucky ones to be virus free.We honor your husband and all the others by our effort to educate others.

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