Grief and Loss
This is a topic that makes us all nervous, and understandably so. Pondering the end of our own life and those whom we love is a very difficult time and not an easy subject to take on. But, I felt I should try because in my own life, and the lives of all of us, we have experienced loss and for some of us we have faced it down ourselves.
Loss of loved ones
I am no grief expert or counsellor, or a psychologist, and I never suppose to have the best insights or advice. The fact is that like most of you, I have lost people close to me in my work in hep C, I have lost too many over the years to the end result of living with hep C for years and having advanced disease as a result. We have seen an increase in people losing their battle, and it has been very difficult for me but is much worse for those who are partners, spouses, friends, and family.
Like you, I have experienced loss and felt grief in my life. My parents, my brother, a first girlfriend, dogs, and friends I cherished, and many others have passed in my life. It has never gotten easier and I do not expect it will. Each loss is different, and how it affected me was as unique as each of them were.
Finding help and support
As I mentioned, I am no expert on end of life and cannot tell anyone how he or she should deal with loss other than to say that in my own experience it is a healing process. At the risk of sounding cliché, it does get easier over time. Not that we ever forget those who have passed, because like you I never will forget those I have lost. If you have faith as part of your life, you have something, which can help to guide you, and support you in your time of loss. Not all people have a faith to rely on and some of us will make constructs that can support us in similar ways, right or wrong. There is no rulebook or perfect guide, at least I would be suspicious if someone suggested there was a one-size fits all guide to how best to deal with grief.
Seek help if you need it, and sometimes, we need help, it is sometimes the best thing we can do. Reaching out to others can be a part of healing and better than internalizing our feelings. Please don’t feel guilt; it is a destructive walk with nothing positive to gain. "If only I had..." never leads to a good place. Surviving loss and going on to thrive in your own life is the best outcome in an otherwise sad time. Another cliché is that time heals all, and there is no set time in my experience, and grief is a process that takes time. Give yourself that time to heal. You will feel better, and the weight of loss will lift.
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