Why I Dread Going to The Doctor's Office
I have become very stressed going into the doctor’s office. Each time, I set off the alarms on the blood pressure machines and get asked, "Do you normally have high blood pressure?".
Hep C stress
I could say "Yes, yes, I do..." but it's only when I come into their office. And it seemed to have started once I was diagnosed with hep C. When things come to you in a health crisis by surprise, there is no warning or preparation for a reaction. The day I got the news I tested positive for hep C, there was nothing I could have done to prepare myself for the challenges that were to come.
From that moment forward, I have had all my major organs biopsied, a bone marrow biopsy, and countless blood draws, rounds of chemo, never-ending tests... you name it, I have undergone it.
Nothing is ever routine for me
So, yes, my blood pressure is high going into a doctor’s office. My life is not normal when I leave; Another diagnosis, another test must be done, or a biopsy of another part. I feel it is never just routine for me. (Don't get me wrong, it is not all caused by my liver.I have other issues with women's health popping into play now too.)
I've been through a lot
You can say I am at my limit of physicians, needles, blood pressure cuffs, etc. But just when I feel I can’t go on, deep down more strength is given to me to continue. Looking back now at all the stuff I have gone through, I am amazed it is me. It is not until I began to recount my hep C journey that I sit here and am shocked at really all that has transpired. The miles back and forth from my home to Denver, the minutes spent in waiting rooms. The waiting for an IV in those thin hospital gowns sitting on a cold bench. The tears, the prayers - I have had them all.
I am sure your journey began at a surprise too and that you as well have encountered numerous tests, etc. We are all fighters, in every sense of the word.
Whether we have cleared the virus yet or are still in the midst of the process, we all at one point in our journey detest going to the doctors. I wish I had words of wisdom or advise on how to deal with that anxiety for you. Just know you are not alone in that journey or stress. Those of us here get it... Stay strong in the fight. Stay focused and keep going forward. The cure is there.
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