Dark Side of Diagnosis
Being diagnosed with hepatitis C was extremely difficult for me to process. I witnessed a year-long battle with my mom fighting this very disease. It was grueling, unforgiving, painful and pure hell. Everything I was witnessing, I knew soon I would be in the same situation.
Life Changed Forever
I sank into a dark place and the life that I knew was no longer. I was typically a cheerful, happy, positive person but I lost her to the hep C. I guess I was not seeing myself as “Kim” any longer but “Hepatitis C Kim”. It consumed my every thought, my every action, and no longer did I think or have dreams of my future. My thoughts were dark and the happy joyful Kim was now sad, scared, angry, and fearful.
Back in 2005-2006 there was no online support for Hepatitis C patients. There was no one other than my doctor to talk to about this disease. And for one, my first physician treated it like the plague. I was isolated and afraid. The only person I had to run to was my mom and she died from this.
About 7 months went by during this dark period of my life. It wasn’t until one afternoon I overheard my kids out in the living room wrestling around. Their giggles, and laughter filled the house and I couldn’t help but start to giggle at the sound. As I sat and listened, something overcame me at that moment. “Kim, this is not how I want you to live your life. You must get up, get yourself together and FIGHT”. Now I know that no one else was in this room for me and I am not here to push a belief or have you believe in mine, but that voice was my mother speaking very loudly to me as if to shake me and rattle me up some. And for the first time in a long time, I saw light. I felt a warm loving comfort surround me.
Moving Forward in a Positive Direction
I proceeded out to where my kids were and startled them some I guess because I was laughing with them. Hesitant, they looked at me and then we all embraced and who knows what we were laughing at but the fact of the matter was we were ALL laughing.
From this point forward I have never let my thought pattern go negative. No matter what the outcome of a test was or the rejection of a trial. I kept moving forward and I dug into anything I could find about hepatitis C. As it turns out I picked up a book written by a local doctor here in Colorado. I read it cover to cover and the more I read, the stronger I felt. I knew the ins and out of what was ravishing my body. I then fired my old liver specialist and linked up with one of the best hepatologists in the country. I was in good hands now.
“Not without a FIGHT! HCV”